The boy and I just got a new apartment. Naturally, that means the best way to spoil me now is to gift me with gift cards from Amazon.com and Lowes.com Lowes doesn’t have online cards, but you can just buy one and send me the number and everything so I can add it to my account. After all, why should a loser like you get fancy new furniture and other luxuries when I deserve it so much more? Do it now, microdicks.