Ooh! This would look so sexy in our new apartment and I -must- have it. Get on it, losers! More amazon.com gift certificates!

I did get a very sexy dress last week after milking a college student for all of his spending money for the month. I’d be surprised if he can even afford ramen! And I know that, like any loser, he’ll be back next month, begging me to rape his wallet yet again. You toys are so predictable!